


in the grand scheme of things

by mossymoon



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Begging, Break Up, Bruises, Cheating, Coercion, College Student Eren Yeager, Couch Sex, Counter Sex, Crying, Dialogue Heavy, Drinking, Drinking & Talking, Drinking to Cope, Drunken Kissing, Dubious Morality, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Infidelity, Eren Yeager is a Little Shit, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Frat Boy Jean Kirstein, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied Eremika, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Infidelity, Kissing, Kitchen Sex, Love Triangles, Mentioned Armin Arlert, Mentioned Connie Springer - Freeform, Mentioned Mikasa Ackerman, Mentioned Mikasa Ackerman & Eren Yeager, Mentioned Mina Carolina, Mentioned Sasha Blouse, Mildly Dubious Consent, Minor Bertolt Hoover/Annie Leonhart, Minor Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Minor Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager, Modern Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Morally Ambiguous Character, Morning After, Neck Kissing, Nipple Licking, Non-Consensual Photography, Oral Sex, Praise Kink, Scratching, Sex, Sexual Coercion, Stoner Connie Springer, Underage Drinking, Undressing, Unhealthy Relationships, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, because i love those two sm LOL, jikupiku if u squint lol, no beta reader we die like marco, pikkupokko if u squint--, reiner is tired of zeke's shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:47:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28872534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mossymoon/pseuds/mossymoon
Summary: you and eren hadn't been doing the best these past few months, and no one that you knew seemed to have any answers for you, or pointers in the right direction. who better to offer you some sound, insightful relationship advice than his older brother. or so you thought.
Relationships: Eren Yeager & Reader, Eren Yeager/Reader, Eren Yeager/You, Jean Kirstein & Reader, Sasha Blouse & Reader, Zeke Yeager/Reader
Comments: 135
Kudos: 337





	1. Chapter 1

you would reluctantly admit that you and eren had been experiencing a few issues as of recently.

it was the run-of-the-mill turbulence: ignored texts and phone calls, unexplained hostility, hanging around with your shared group of friends—more his than yours—without you. you'd been able to ignore it around midterms, being so busy with studying and getting all your family affairs in order for the end of the year that you didn't have much time to worry about how he hadn't bothered to respond to your " _happy new year_ _, baby!!!_ " message you'd sent days ago.

but winter break came and went with no reply from him, you spent christmas and new years in the company of your parents, who couldn't seem to keep quiet about asking about "that jaeger boy". you couldn't really blame them for their questions, you'd been friends for nearly four years now, in a relationship since the night of senior prom, even followed each other to the same university with a few other high school friends just to stay close. the summer that preceded your first year of college was so full of love and life, celebrating your newfound freedom that you had always thought would come with adulthood. but you supposed that it was just the hopeless romantic in you talking, it was called the honeymoon phase for a reason.

consulting his best friends about his sudden detachedness yielded nothing—mikasa had never held much besides poorly hidden disdain for you, and all armin had to offer was nervous glances over to the uninterested girl as he assured you that he was probably stressed about his classes, or had another disagreement with his mother about his choice of major, just excuse after excuse for his friend's behavior. you were feeling desperate. you had little desire to break things off, to throw away nine months of commitment despite how your relationship had soured. you were in love with him, and he hadn't explicitly expressed that he wanted to end things, just left you out of the loop for a bit, nothing that couldn't be fixed with a nice long conversation over dinner, right?

but how could you reach him if he wouldn't answer your calls, if his friends only seemed to want to placate you rather than actively help, you felt like there was nobody to turn to—except him.

zeke, the ever-elusive older brother. you'd met him upon one of your first visits to eren's house, a brief, somewhat awkward exchange when you'd ventured into the kitchen by yourself to grab a few things for your friends in the living room. he'd startled you when you turned out of the pantry to find him standing by the fridge, eyeing you and your armful of chip bags curiously, only wearing a pair of thin-framed glasses and grey sweatpants, revealing the sculpted expanse of his muscular arms and torso, an unopened can of beer in his hand.

"you one of eren's friends?" he'd asked, cracking open the tab and taking a generous gulp.

you replied with a quick nod, adding a sheepish "yup..! everyone else is in the living room, i'm on snack duty" with a shaky smile.

he chuckled, shaking his head and running a hand through his shaggy blonde hair. "typical eren. 'm zeke, good to meet you."

he didn't bother to ask your name before he disappeared into the adjacent hallway, the distant sound of a shutting door finally letting you release the breath you didn't know you'd been holding. that was how a majority of your exchanges went over the last few years, the longest conversations you'd had was when he'd offered to help you on your physics homework more than a couple times, his number was only in your phone because of the one time you'd worn the teeshirt of a band he happened to like and he wanted to send you a playlist. there were plenty of things you didn't know about him, but he was eren's older brother—half-brother, if you wanted to get technical—and after seeing the deflective nature of his closest friends, zeke seemed to be your next best option.

so now you were here, nervously standing at the door to his new apartment, dressed nicely so you didn't risk making a bad impression after not having seen him all these months. he seemed sympathetic over the phone when you'd called him last night, not minding how you'd contacted him out of the blue or that it was only for the sake of asking something of him, inviting you to discuss things more thoroughly over dinner. you didn't know whether he'd extended a helping hand for his brother's sake or your own, but you would be grateful no matter what if he gave some sound advice and a few words of reassurance.

you were startled out of your thoughts by the sound of the lock unlatching, the door swinging open to reveal zeke, smartly dressed in a pair of dark jeans and dress shirt, the top few buttons left undone. "sorry if i kept you waiting," he said, stepping aside to allow you in, "dinner's just about ready."

"no worries." you replied quickly as you slipped off your heels, hoping the heat warming your face wasn't flushing visibly on your cheeks.

he had always been a good-looking guy, an effortless sort of attractiveness that was only magnified by the relaxed yet perceptive air he carried. but he'd changed since that day you first met—his shaggy hair had been trimmed back into a shorter, more manageable style, the usual scruff of facial hair had grown out into a well-maintained beard, frames that similarly complimented his handsome features perched on the bridge of his nose. flashing a polite smile, you stepped into the apartment, trying not to let your anxiety get the better of you as the door was shut and locked behind you.

"nice place." you mused, peering about at the spacious, well-decorated interior as you followed beside him.

"thanks, honestly i'm glad i could find someone that was willing to split the rent," you felt nerves stir in the pit of your stomach, the thought of having to meet the other tenant leaving you feeling a bit uneasy. he turned down to glance at you, grey eyes glinting as he offered you an easy grin, "you don't have to worry about my roommate, i kicked him out for the night so you didn't feel uncomfortable."

you were sure the blush on your face was evident now, biting at the inside of your cheek as you both entered into the kitchen. "oh.. thank you. sorry if i caused any trouble, i know this was kind of last minute."

"no worries." he echoed your earlier sentiment, motioning you to the table just beside the kitchen before he returned to the skillet on the stove. the warm scent of coriander and turmeric filled the air as he lifted the lid and set it aside on the counter, stirring the simmering contents within. "hope you like curry," he said over his shoulder, turning down the gas on the stove and opening up the cabinet beside him to pull out the plates, "i didn't make it too spicy, just in case."

"i don't really eat it too often, but it smells amazing."

you felt yourself starting to relax into the chair, shedding your jacket and hanging your purse on the side of the chair as you watched him scoop a generous portion of white rice onto each plate. it was just you two here, he was willing to help, and you were incredibly grateful for his hospitality.

you pulled your phone out of your pocket to fiddle with while he was still plating the food, aimlessly tapping through your apps to kill some time. your text to eren from a few days ago still read " _delivered_ ", and you felt a slight twinge prick in your chest as you closed out of your messages, opting to scroll through your feed on one of the few social medias your friends had convinced you to download. it was relatively safe to look there, seeing as eren didn't post all that often, if at all, but seeing everyone your age, people that you knew from your classes posing with their boyfriends and girlfriends and going out on excursions with their peers made you feel jealous. you couldn't have imagined what you had done to deserve such a shitty situation.

your thoughts were interrupted by the dull clink of the plate being set before you, the clatter of silverware following as he rounded over to the opposite side of the table to place his things down. you switched your phone on silent just in case, tucking it back into your purse and sitting up a bit straighter in your chair. but instead of sitting down, he wandered back over to the kitchen, reaching up into a different cabinet to fetch two glasses.

"i'm assuming talking about your relationship troubles isn't the easiest, so pick your poison. i've got gin, tequila, beer—" he listed off the myriad of drinks he had at his disposal, pausing to throw you a glance. "but i honestly pegged you as a vodka kind of girl."

you felt a nervous giggle bubble up in your chest, fingers twisting in your lap, feeling more than juvenile as you replied. "i'm still under twenty-one, so i'm not really much of a drinker.."

"come on, you're in college now," he said, pulling a bottle of vodka from one of the lower cabinets and stepping over to the fridge, "most of the people hosting parties don't give much of a shit whether you're of legal drinking age or not, and i've got a feeling that you really don't either. i know i got shit-faced plenty of times during my freshman year."

you mentally debated the principles of accepting, he was right in saying that you had attended plenty of parties where you drank with your friends, suppressing a grimace at the memories of you throwing up in a stranger's bathroom while an equally drunk historia or sasha held your hair back. but those times you'd been looking to get wasted, drinking in this context would just be for the sake of loosening up, easing the sting of ripping off the metaphorical bandaid that was the thought of your relationship slowly crumbling right before your eyes.

"you're right," you relented, much to his delight, "and, yes, i guess i am a vodka kind of girl."

you didn't appreciate how charming the grin your words garnered was, fixing your eyes on the steaming plate of chicken curry in front of you before you could embarrass yourself. you were here to figure out how to smooth things over with your boyfriend, not oogle at his unnecessarily attractive older brother.

"here, something simple to start you off." he set down the glass on your place mat, finally taking his seat across the table, "there's plenty of ginger beer and limes in the fridge, and plenty of vodka still left."

you stole a glance at his drink. "whiskey, on the rocks.. how refined."

he gave a low chuckle at your sarcasm, taking a slow sip. "it's an acquired taste, i wouldn't expect someone your age to appreciate it." that was right, he was older than you, significantly older than you. just because you were legally an adult didn't mean your life experience could crop up to zeke's.

"old man." you murmured, a small smile perking up at both of your lips as you spooned some of the curry and rice into your mouth, "wow, thi' i' really gu'!" you managed to speak around the mouthful of food, grey eyes watching you intently with an obvious bemusement from across the table.

"i'm glad you like it. guess those years working at a couple restaurants around town weren't a complete waste." he said, tasting his own bite of the food, "cumin's a little off, hope you can forgive me for that."

"are you kidding me? this exceeds restaurant quality. i can barely put eggs in a pan without burning the kitchen down."

you were nearly a quarter through your plate already, setting your utensil down to take a sip of the drink he'd made for you. it was simple, bubbly, a nice mix of ginger, vodka, and lime to cool off your tongue. you could barely taste the alcohol, which somewhat eased your worries of becoming a drunken mess that required him to babysit you for the rest of the night.

you were both silent for a moment, the air occupied with the scrape of spoons and quiet sips from your respective glasses, and you were beginning to dread ruining such an easy mood with the topic of your emotional turmoil. but zeke beat you to the punch, clearing his throat as he settled his gaze onto you.

"so, you and my brother. you wanted to talk about that, right?"

you allowed yourself to frown a bit, taking a generous sip of your drink before you answered. "yeah. i don't really know where to start.."

"when did you first start noticing problems?"

you felt somewhat eased by his calm tone, bright grey eyes that were entirely focused on you, wordlessly reassuring you that you could trust him with this. you'd come this far, there was no point in trying to back out now.

"well, i guess it was around november." you began, scraping all of the food left onto one side of your plate to keep your hands occupied, "we'd all met up for halloween, me and eren and mikasa and armin—" you prattled off the other names of your friends, even some that you weren't sure he knew from your high school days, but he nodded along all the same. "and we all had an amazing time. got all dressed up, wandered around campus and crashed in on the frat parties, drank ourselves stupid, like you said. and at one point i just completely lost track of eren, and i didn't see him or anyone else besides sasha, connie, and mina for the rest of the night. after that, he kind of dropped off the face of the earth, wouldn't pick up my calls or answer my texts, always told me he was busy when we ran into each other on campus, and he wasn't at his dorm most of the time i came to try and check on him."

by the end, you'd finished off your drink, zeke wordlessly getting up to grab everything to pour you a new one without you asking. you were more flustered at his attentiveness, forcing yourself to chalk it up to him being an excellent host as he returned with a freshly opened can of ginger beer, pouring it over the ice in your glass and adding at least two shots of vodka, finishing it off with half a lime before returning to his seat. had he put that much alcohol the last time?

the thought slipped your mind as he swallowed a few spoonfuls of curry and spoke. "hmm.. so everything was going just fine, and then all of a sudden radio silence?"

you nodded, working on your remainder of rice, watching his face take on a pensive expression.

"if i'm being honest, eren has always been a little shithead." you suppressed a giggle at that. "he's rude, he's immature, and most of all, he's a terrible liar."

"mhm, the ears are a dead giveaway." you added, earning a grin over the rim of his glass.

"exactly. my stepmom— his mom always called him on his shit with that." you shared a moment of laughter at that, the memory of how defensive he would get over in when you'd first pointed it out making you feel a distant nostalgia creeping in the back of your mind.

you remembered how easy the days where all you had to worry about was catching up on all your late work and forcing yourself to learn about nintendo games for the sake of impressing your crush. now on top of school, you had bills and parties and shitty professors and an even shittier situation with your first long-term relationship that had started off so well yet devolved into feeling like you were a million miles away despite living on the same campus.

"so, eren is a shithead. and a terrible liar. go on." you took a long sip of your drink, unable to distinguish the warmth of the alcohol from the warmth of the curry in your stomach.

"well, he's just— how do i say this..." zeke murmured the last bit more to himself than you, pushing up his glasses on his nose and scratching the back of his neck, "he doesn't know a good thing when he sees it." you felt your heart skip at that. "like that mikasa girl, her and eren have been friends since grade school, and never once in all those years has eren ever acknowledged the way she's fuckin' head over heels for him." the mention of mikasa made you feel a sharp pang echo through your chest, suddenly feeling much more disheartened than before, especially at the mention of her perpetual affinity for him.

"but, i do have to give the kid some props," he continued, taking a sip of his whiskey, "at least he had enough of a brain to realize that you're a real catch. if i'm being honest, you're out of his league, and when you first started dating, he knew that."

you couldn't tell if your face was feeling hot because of his words or the fact that you'd just finished off your second drink in one long gulp, already reaching for the unopened ginger beer and vodka. blinking away the glassiness starting to settle over your vision, you met his gaze, suddenly feeling much smaller before him. he waited until you'd finished refilling your drink before he began again, not saying anything about how you'd accidentally poured much more vodka than you meant to.

"i think eren's problem is that he's getting too cocky," your appetite was starting to disappear as you focused on his words, still trying to finish what was left on the plate, "doesn't know his ass from his elbow, but he still thinks he's got everything figured out. you know what i mean, right?"

you nodded with an affirmative hum, a series of incidents that made you want to rip the boy's head off flashing through your mind only added credence to his claim. your tongue was starting heavy in your mouth, movements sluggish as you washed away what was left of dinner with more of your drink. you hadn't been truly drunk in months, not since that halloween party, only indulging in the occasional mimosa over breakfast with your family and your celebratory champagne for new years.

you hoped the heaviness weighing at your lids didn't show on your face, or that your words didn't string together when you replied. "i know exactly what you mean, can't imagine how hard that was to deal with for the last nineteen years."

he chuckled, finishing off his whiskey. "i've saved that kid's ass more time than i could ever care to count. being the older brother is a thankless fuckin' job if i've ever seen one. you done with dinner?"

"yeah. thank you again, it was amazing."

he grinned at your praise, rising from his seat as he spoke. "here, table's kind of crowded, we can move to the couch. i'll take care of dishes later. you want a refill?"

"sure." you responded before you could really think about your answer, trying to subtly steady yourself on the table as you got to your feet, head already starting to spin.

blinking away the blurriness fuzzing at the edges of your vision, you wandered past him through the kitchen and into the adjacent living room, falling into the cushions of the couch before you could trip up over your own feet. you felt embarrassed by your lack of tolerance, but felt some of that tension ebb away when he made his way over to sit next to you, fresh glass of ginger beer and vodka in hand. you didn't expect to feel the warmth of his thigh pressing into yours when he settled down, placing your drink on the coffee table before he turned down to speak to you.

"alright, i haven't said much in the way of advice, so here's what i think."

you grimaced internally, reaching over with an unsteady hand to grab your glass and take a long sip to brace yourself for his thoughts. you weren't expecting that it would be an easy pill to swallow, he'd probably be realistic about things and tell you to just suck it up and break things off while you could still maintain a shred of dignity.

"i know this is probably not what you want to hear, but i really think you should break up with him."

your lips pressed into a thin line, partly from his assertion but mostly because of the burn of alcohol sliding down your throat. there was definitely much more vodka in this than there should be, but you didn't want to seem weak before him, trying not to shudder as you continued to take small, fast sips.

you nearly spat it up on yourself when his hand settled on the skin of your thigh exposed by your skirt, wide eyes raising to meet his intent gaze. "don't tell me you think a guy that ditches you for just about three months now is worth your time, even without everything else considered."

"everythin' else?" your words were starting to slur together, but you still tried to drown out the dread tangling in your gut with the bubbling contents of the glass.

"you haven't figured it out yet, have you.." he faltered, a slight frown drawing across his lips when you gave a hesitant shake of your head, sighing as he pulled his glasses off of his nose and folded them neatly to place on the coffee table. "think about it; he disappears on you while he was drunk at a party, most likely with hanging around alone with the female friend that's clung onto him for a majority of his life, and then after that night he just completely gives you the cold shoulder, avoids you every time you try and come talk to him, like he's running away from you." he paused, adam's apple bobbing in his throat. "like he's _hiding_ something."

you felt your heart sink, biting firmly down on your bottom lip, a thick lump forming in your throat, eyes stinging. "s-so, you're saying th-that—"

you couldn't blink away the first tears as they dribbled down your cheeks, choking back a small sob. he carefully took the nearly empty glass from your hands and replaced it on the coffee table, you could make out the expression of pity drawn across his handsome features through your watery gaze. you didn't protest when the arm closest to you moved to wrap around your waist, the other curling around your shoulder and drawing you against him. restrained sniffles gave way to hiccuped sobs, your own hands linking around his neck and squeezing him tighter against you as you wept out into the empty air behind him.

normally you would've put on a brave face, maybe excused yourself to the bathroom to let out a few silent tears before you returned to thank him and stammer out some excuse to leave and spend the rest of the night wallowing on your own. but the alcohol had melted away any barriers you would've put up against zeke's compassion, made you crave the security his warmth provided as he pressed his face into your shoulder, a large, gentle hand rising to stroke over the crown of your head. he let you cry on your own for a while, not minding how your fingers clutched tightly at his shirt or how your snot and tears wet the pale fabric, petting your hair and rubbing soothingly over your shuddering back.

your adjacent thighs were nearly overlapping each other, but all you could think of was how your hammering heart felt like it was one beat away from bursting at the seams, the dim glow of the lamp in the corner that blurred into a shapeless ball of light, his steady breath fanning across the skin of your neck.

"that asshole doesn't deserve you." he murmured, voice low as his lips ghosted over your shoulder, strong arms fastening their hold around you.

you couldn't help but shudder at the feeling as you sniffed, swallowing down the tension balling in your throat before you managed a shaky reply. "h-he's your brother, i thought you'd b-be on his side.."

"what makes you think i'd be on his side after hearing how he treated you?" his fingers worked their way deeper into your hair, palm cradling the back of your head. you forced yourself not to squirm when his face nestled further into the crook of your neck. "you deserve someone mature, someone who can treat you right.. someone who can make you feel good..."

you let out an alarmed breath at the feeling of a soft kiss over your skin, then another, posture stiffening as your grasp around his neck slackened. "wait, i c-can't," you started, the sudden sensation of his fingers sinking into your waist and drawing you closer against him making you lose your words for a moment, "i haven' officially broken up with eren, just because he might've ch-cheated on me doesn't mean-"

"there's no use trying to deny what he did.. what's done is done, you need to do what's best for you—right here, right now." his voice lowered even further, barely a whisper as he implored, "what do _you_ want to do?"

you bit back a weak sound when his tongue drew a slow lick over the sensitive skin, the involuntary heat stirring between your legs making your thighs clench. this was wrong, you shouldn't be here, you shouldn't be letting this happen, an endless stream of muddled thoughts flashed through your mind as you desperately searched for some sort of excuse to buy yourself a few more moments to think. a distant memory popped into your head, the blurry mental image of zeke with his arm draped around a dark-haired woman when you'd dropped by to visit eren just before you'd both moved in on campus.

"g-girlfriend!! don't you have a girlfriend?!" you blurted desperately, a small whimper slipping out of you as he gave a brief suck over your pulse.

"girlfriend?" he paused his motions, chuckling lowly and giving a small shake of his head when he realized who you were thinking of, "oh, pieck? i'd hardly call her a girlfriend, just an old buddy. honestly, it's no wonder you got stuck in this sort of situation, you manage to find an excuse for everything."

you couldn't ruminate on his patronizing tone for longer than a moment before he returned to kissing at the sensitive skin of your neck, testing the waters of your resilience. you were afraid of your responsiveness to his touch, your body's unabashed honesty, afraid of how your protests had devolved into uncertain whimpers and shifts in your seat.

"good girl," he murmured, sending a jolt of heat racing up your spine, "see how easy that was? this is what you want, isn't it?"

you allowed the fingers in your hair to gently tug your head back, exposing more skin to his eager mouth as he teased a bite just under your jaw, drawing a soft whine and an even deeper flush of heat over your cheeks from you. your movements were sluggish, limbs leadened with inebriation falling down easily when he urged you down onto your back. in one slow blink he'd settled on top of you, warm lips melded easily against your own as his fingers began to work at unbuttoning your blouse.

maybe he was right, maybe you just needed to accept that you and eren's time had come to pass and indulge in what you really wanted—and now that he'd made it an option, what you really wanted right now was to feel the warmth of his bare flesh on yours, taste more of the whiskey on his breath as his tongue slid between your teeth, replace every hint of eren that still resided on your skin with his scent of expensive cologne. you could already feel the ache of a forming bruise at the base of your neck, fingers messily tangling in his hair and back arching up to his hands when they began to smooth across your chest, snaking under your body to undo the clasp of your bra.

"you never told me what exactly you wanted, baby.." he murmured over your lips, low-lidded eyes meeting yours, "do you want us to just kiss, or do you want me to touch you?"

"touch me, please.." you mumbled restlessly, quickly becoming impatient with the fact that his hands had halted after slipping the straps of your bra free from your arms and tossing it somewhere behind him to be forgotten.

but even after you answered, he didn't continue, a smug smirk tugging at his lips as he gazed down at you. "and then what after that? do you want me to touch you here? his fingers ghosted over the swell of your breasts. "or here?" one hand trailed down the length of your abdomen, forefinger just barely hooking onto the waistline of your skirt and giving it a teasing tug.

" _zeke._ " you whined in frustration, mind foggy with lust and alcohol, uncoordinated hands wrestling with his shirt despite not having undone the buttons first, "you're being mean.."

"sorry," he said without a hint of remorse in his voice, only pride as he returned his hands to your chest, "you're just too easy to tease, so responsive, i'd never get bored of playing with you."

you took it as a compliment, as praise, rather than what it really was. it was easier to think of it like flattery in the moment, to push the obvious reminder that his brother had gotten bored of you out of your mind. despite the implication of such a statement, you couldn't help the odd sense of safety you found in such an equivocal intimacy, hazy, not sound of mind, not entirely yourself as you offered him your body, his to kiss and grab and bruise if only for the night.

you hummed with approval when his lips trailed down to the valley of your chest, fingers sinking into the soft flesh of your breasts, but making a point to avoid your nipples, only further denying you the stimulation that you thought he'd finally assured you with that last arrogant taunt. you could feel his smile on your skin, nearly huffing at the realization that you couldn't squeeze your thighs together to give yourself some friction with him positioned between them like he was, buzzing with warmth yet entirely unfulfilled.

"patience is a virtue.." he murmured sagely, unfazed by your second sound of annoyance.

"what about trying to fuck your brother's girlfriend is virtuous." you bit back, momentary anger leaving you in a surprised pant as he gave a gentle tug to one of your nipples.

" _ex_ -girlfriend." he corrected after a quiet chuckle at your forthrightness, mouth closing around the pert bud not being rolled between his slender fingers.

you moaned out a soft curse, hand threading back into his thick hair and pressing him further against you. the fog that had been momentarily sobered clouding your senses once more, hips rutting up into nothing as he worshipped your skin with his lips, teeth, and tongue. you felt the spark fully reignite when one hand moved back down your stomach to wrestle with the button of your skirt, the zipper sliding down easily after it was undone, fingers delving under the loosened waistline to palm at you through your underwear. he pulled away from your nipple with one last gentle bite over the tender skin, low voice at a husky mutter.

"have you ever had sex before?"

you quickly nodded down at him, seeing your own dazed stare reflected in his darkened eyes, pupils almost entirely overtaking the cool grey.

"was it with him?"

you swallowed thickly, suddenly finding yourself unable to meet his gaze, turning away to focus on your long finished drink on the coffee table, ice already half melted in the sweating glass. "yes." you barely whispered.

"was it good?"

you bit the inside of your cheek, blinking fast, trying to dispel the blanket of unease that was quickly settling over you, suffocating you. you only answered with a non-committal shrug, feeling your face burn with a humiliation that he couldn't have thought such a line of questioning would have not inspired.

he maintained a steady gaze with you for a moment longer, lowering his head back to rest at your shoulder without another word and picking a place on your neck to bite and lick at, fingers rubbing slow circles over the drenched fabric beneath them. a small moan bubbled up in your chest, squirming at just the easy attention over your clit, lids falling shut as your head sank back into the cushioned arm of the sofa.

you sighed out a small whimper of relief when he finally tugged your underwear to the side, fingers instantly slicking with your arousal when they met your bare skin, sliding in with little resistance. he'd started out with just two, but the incessant desire to be filled was quelled for the moment with them, drawing a pathetic mewl out of you when they curled just right within you.

"are you always this excited?"

another question you didn't know the honest answer to, but you shook your head anyways, accompanying it with a weak " _n-no_ " to stroke his ego like you knew he wanted you to. you went stiff with a sudden tension when felt a third finger prodding at your pussy, eyes flying back open as you made a disconcerted sound of protest.

"relax.." he murmured into your shoulder, biting softly over one of the fresher marks, "if you can't handle this, how can you take me?"

you took a shaky breath, taking your bottom lip between your teeth as you let your thighs fall open a bit more, doing your best to not clench your muscles. and you could feel how he let out a low groan over your skin when he finally slipped in all three, burying them knuckle-deep, rewarding you with a smattering of open-mouthed kisses across your bruised flesh.

"good girl. _good_ girl." he nipped at your jaw, adjusting the speed of his wrist to match how your hips rolled up to meet his hand, the pad of his thumb rolling firmly over your clit.

you could feel that warm knot in your stomach tangling further, the tantalizing thought of release ebbing every bit of trepidation out of you as you allowed your moans and whines to spill out into the open air, heels digging into the felt of the couch around him. but just moments before you could find your high, his touch gone, and he was rising off of you to sit back on his calves, absentmindedly wiping the wetness from his fingers away on his pants, making quick work of his shirt, standing briefly to kick off his pants and help you out of your displaced bottoms before he settled back over you.

your skin was hot with need against his own, arm linking around his sturdy back and pressing his lips back over yours, letting him guide one leg up against his side as he lined himself up with you. you squeaked when you felt the tip of his cock press into you, hands bracing themselves on his shoulders, wide, unfocused eyes gazing up at him for some sort of reassurance. and that sense of security filled your heaving chest, that knowing look he focused solely on you, only made for you in this moment, forehead pressed to yours, breath fanning over your lips.

a strained, shuddering whine broke from your throat as he eased himself inside of you, inch by inch, barely able to hold your eyes open enough to maintain his fixed stare, mouth falling open in a feeble attempt to gasp back in all the air he'd pushed out of you.

" _fuck._ " he growled lowly, fingers sinking almost painfully into the thigh in his grasp, trying to fit his body as close as it could possibly be to your own.

another sound rumbled out of him from deep in his chest when your nails dug into the firm muscle beneath them, hungry, greedy lips capturing yours. his pace was mercifully slow, given that he was probably just as eager for his own release as you were for yours, but the overwhelming fullness that you felt each time his hips met yours drove whatever tiny breath you'd been able to catch between his kisses.

you spread your legs as far as the narrow space of the couch allowed it, whimpering, feeling how you were already making a dripping mess of your thighs and the fabric beneath you. your heart was practically beating out of your chest, so loud in your ears that you wouldn't be surprised if he could hear it too, his mouth catching every pant and moan he drew from you, the steady pace of his movements falling away into an ardent, frenzied rhythm. his mouth strayed back to your neck, grunting and biting into the abused flesh, and without the barrier to muffle your sounds you were whining out into the open space of the apartment, gasping in the air humid with your shared arousal, nails scratching down his back without care for whether they'd leave a mark, only dragging them back across his hot skin over and over again just to hear him groan out your name once more.

you could feel yourself climbing back up towards that delightful precipice, legs wrapping around his body and forcing him deeper into you so he could reach that spot that made white stars burst across the darkness of your close-lidded eyes. you tried to force your mouth to form coherent words, to warn him about how dangerously close you were, but all that spilled from your lips was more breathless sounds, body arching up to press against his as heat scalded over every inch of your bare skin, limbs shuddering and clinging desperately to him as he continued to roughly thrust into you.

tears were pricking at your eyes by the time he moaned a jumbled string of curses into your neck, arms nearly giving out beneath him as he spilled himself inside of you, your chests heaving in an unmatched, ragged unity against each other. he stayed there for a few moments, still inside you, struggling to catch his breath but still pressing the occasional kiss over your neck and shoulders. your fingers released their grasp on him, not realizing how hard you'd been clenching your hands until you felt the stiff ache resonating through your joints.

you tried to murmur something to him, but all that escaped was a weak whimper, legs slipping back down to lay on the couch, arms resting heavy on his back. you hadn't meant to fall asleep so fast, but your head had already been spinning from warm shocks still echoing through every fiber of your body, let alone the alcohol and the sheer physical exertion. you let your eyes fall shut, lids far too heavy to keep open, and slipped away easily into a dreamless slumber. 

\--

zeke blindly reached about for the towel he'd set aside near the sink, finally grabbing it and pressing it to his dripping face, patting his skin and beard dry before tossing it into the hamper by the door. replacing his glasses onto his face, he blinked away the grogginess in his eyes, running his fingers through his hair to flatten it into a somewhat presentable style. he turned to the open door, catching a glimpse of you nestled under the comforter of his bed, a small smirk tugging at his lips.

he'd carried you to his room last night, but didn't get the chance to clean you up until this morning. by then, the bruises that had been an angry shade of red over your neck and chest had settled into your skin and darkened significantly, some bordered by deeper teethmarks that still had yet to fade. you hadn't stirred when he'd pulled the covers away from you for just a few moments, peeling off your underwear that he'd haphazardly replaced on your body to keep the mess to a minimum and gently wiping his cum away from your skin with a wet washcloth. he'd really tired you out, and something about seeing you so exhausted after just one night with him made a flicker of pride swell in his chest.

flicking off the light in the bathroom, he didn't bother to add a shirt over his relaxed attire of just a pair of sweatpants as he left his bedroom, making sure to quietly shut the door behind him.

"rise and shine." his back was still to the kitchen when he heard reiner's voice, turning to face his roommate who was looking at him with a mix of disapproval and curiosity, most likely having gotten a good look at the scratches you left down his skin last night.

"how was your time at bertholdt's?" zeke asked, ignoring reiner's frown as he glossed over his intrigue, wandering over to the fridge to grab some water for himself.

"not great." he grunted, reaching into the cabinet below the stove and fetching a pan, "he decided to invite annie over when he heard i was coming. you can imagine how boring it was to watch those two make eyes at each other the entire night."

zeke chuckled at that, cracking the top off of the cool bottle in his hands and taking a refreshing gulp, glancing at the table and noticing its lack of plates and the leftovers of night-old curry. "oh, you did the dishes. thanks."

"yeah, yeah, just glad you had your fun last night without me having to hear it." he stepped aside to let reiner put a carton of eggs and the butter out of the fridge. "but seriously man? the couch? you're gonna have to get that dry-cleaned or something, and i'm not helping you pay for it either."

"don't worry about it, i'll take care of it." he replied with a lazy smile, quickly adding on to his smooth response, "and be nice, alright? it's someone we know."

"who?" he asked, not at all looking it but obviously interested in his answer, flicking on the gas under the pan and dumping a spoonful of butter into it.

"one of eren's friends." reiner's eyes shot briefly over to him at that, prompting him to give a brief description of you, "remember? you saw her that time we all met up to watch that horror marathon while i still lived with my parents."

"wait.. you told me about her. isn't she dating your brother??"

" _was_ dating my brother." he corrected, rolling his eyes at the disgruntled bewilderment etched across his friends face, "what? i had to show her that this generation of jaegers wasn't a complete disappointment.."

"whatever, man. your business." he finished off his water bottle in silence, watching reiner crack a few eggs in a bowl and whisk them together with a fork, finally breaking the silence with a generous offer. "you want me to make something for her?"

a slight grin broke out across zeke's face, dumping the empty plastic into the recycling bin, slapping reiner's back affectionately. "thought you'd never ask. thanks again, man."

"at your service." was his grumbled, monotone reply, the shadows weighing under his eyes clearly showing how late he'd arrived home last night and how little sleep he'd gotten. zeke was sure that once he'd got some coffee in him he'd cheer up a bit.

he was sure reiner wouldn't be done for another few minutes, so he wandered back into his room, wondering if you'd woken up yet so he could direct you to the shower if you wanted one. in the time that he'd been in the kitchen, you shifted around in bed, having rolled onto your back and knocked the covers away to reveal your bruised chest, hair covering half of your face but still identifiable. perfect.

zeke fished his phone from the pocket of his sweatpants, unlocking it and tapping into the camera app, taking a few steps closer to the bed and zooming in a bit before he snapped a picture of you. 

> **10:39 am you**  
>  **you** sent an image to **eren**
> 
> **eren 10:40 am**  
>  uhhh did you send that to the wrong person
> 
> **eren 10:41 am**  
>  wait  
> hold on  
> who is that  
> zeke who the fuck is that
> 
> **eren 10:42 am**  
>  is that my fuckingngirlfrined
> 
> **you missed a call from eren**
> 
> **eren 10:43 am**  
>  why the fuck aren't you fuckign picking up
> 
> **you missed a call from eren (2)**
> 
> **eren 10:45 am**  
>  holy shit what the fuck  
> this can't be fucking happening  
> zeke what the fuck is wrong wjth you

zeke tapped out of his messages with his brother, sliding over his notifications setting to "do not disturb" before dropping his phone back into his pocket. he couldn't help the low chuckle he let out at his frantic replies. maybe if he'd held the same enthusiasm with you then he wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. moving over to your side of the bed, he took a seat on the mattress beside you, perking up at the sound of your small groan, eyes sleepily fluttering open to gaze up at him.

"g'morning." you murmured, letting out a quiet yawn as you sat up in bed, holding the sheets up to cover your bare chest despite him having already seen you naked.

"how'd you sleep?"

"like a fucking rock." he laughed softly at your bluntness. "my head kinda hurts.. sorry i fell asleep on you last night."

you looked positively adorable right now, and he was glad you weren't panicking or having any second thoughts about him, that you had fully digested the reality of your situation and come to peace with it. well, at least the situation before he'd sent that picture to eren.

"don't worry about it," he assured you, keeping the thought of his brother probably blowing up his phone and leaving the usual voicemails of him screaming at him when he was angry in his inbox, "i'll get you some breakfast soon. need any ibuprofen?"

"yes please." you smiled gratefully up at him, his heart twinged. "and could you grab me my purse? i left it in the kitchen, my roommates probably wondering why i didn't come back last night."

he began to say yes, but thought of how you were probably receiving a similar slew of alarmed messages by this point made him stop. "how about a shower first? you'd probably feel a lot better after that."

you hummed thoughtfully for a few moments, rubbing the sleep from your eyes with the back of your hand. "a shower sounds nice.. if you don't mind."

"wouldn't have offered if i did, babe." he grinned at the way your cheeks flushed, waving a hand over to his bathroom door, "shower's in there, plenty of towels on the rack by the tub."

he stood, turning to begin making his way to the door to give you some privacy, but felt your fingers gingerly wrapped around your wrist. "zeke.. thank you. for everything. i've been in a really tough spot for the last few months, and now everything seems... it all seems a lot clearer to me, like i just took the hardest step and it'll be a breeze after this."

your smile was genuinely, infectious, eyes full of gratitude, and had it not been for the heavy news that you would most likely be finding out about within the hour, he probably would've responded with one of equal radiance. but he managed to perk up the corners of his lips for you, tracing back to press a quick kiss over the top of your head.

"at your service."

he was pleased to see that his copied, more charmingly delivered words garnered such a positive response from you. and so he made his way back out into the kitchen, pulling out his phone to briefly check the amount of notifications that had racked up on his lock screen. thirty-six messages and sixteen missed phone calls. damn was that little brat persistent.

despite having essentially thrown you under the bus, he didn't feel any semblance of guilt for the action of having sent that incriminating photograph. the only remorse he felt was for leaving you as the sole recipient to his brother's rage, and the fact that he was starting to feel a strange sort of affinity for you, something lighter and more innocuous than the lust that he had shown you the previous evening. so he slipped over to the dinner table, acknowledging reiner's announcement that your eggs were ready with a short hum, finding your purse exactly where you said it had been. 

he could hear the sound of the shower being turned on, and he felt safe unzipping the small bag and rummaging around to fish your phone out from beneath your other belongings. as he'd expected, there were a few missed calls from a "sasha", who he assumed to be your roommate, the messages from "eren <3" quickly beginning to pile up on your home screen. and as the " _incoming call_ " text showed on the screen and the phone began to vibrate, zeke held down on the power button, completely shutting it off before he pocketed the device.

he just had to keep you busy, get you to focus on anything besides your desire to get to your purse and check your phone, or figure out a polite way to quickly shoo you out of the door and get home before you realized that you didn't have it in your bag. he hadn't really planned for this outcome, he usually didn't have this sort of compassion for others when he set his mind to getting something done, but he had a feeling that the extra work would be worth it in the grand scheme of things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i did not expect this to turn out like it did,,, kind of an opening ended sort of thing (´ ∀ ` *) also, the apartment i'm describing is kinda structured around the apartment i used to live in when i was a kid, which was pretty open layout (dining room, kitchen, n living room all in the same space not separated by any walls) besides the bedrooms. hope u guys liked this one ♡( ◡‿◡ )
> 
> edit : ok so i was going over this on my phone and realized how yucky the text layout looked on mobile,,, sorry abt that (｡•́︿•̀｡)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah ! i didn't expect such positive feedback on the first chapter !! i was planning on leaving this as a one-shot, but since u guys liked it so much i decide to post this pt 2, hope u all enjoy (*´▽`*)

you were already halfway back to campus before you noticed your phone was missing.

you'd completely forgotten about your desire to message sasha after you stepped out of the shower, taking a good, long look at your naked body in the steamed mirror. starting from your shoulder and ending around your sternum, your skin was scattered with deep marks that you were sure would be printed onto your skin for the rest of the week, maybe even some of the next, seeing as the worst of them were accompanied by the faint bordering of teeth. you wanted to be embarrassed, ashamed, anything that showed the slightest bit of maturity on your end, but you couldn't deny the feeling like you'd gotten a weight off your chest, like you'd reclaimed your emotional freedom by getting the chance to cry it out—and get it fucked out of you, too.

the only concern you held was whether eren would ever know. zeke didn't seem like the type to kiss and tell, he was laidback and easy-going enough to let you come in his home, drown away your sorrows in his alcohol, rightfully take your side despite your weak, albeit still there, insistence for him to take the middle ground and not feel angered on your behalf. plus, you didn't really know how to broach the topic of " _can you please refrain from mentioning to your younger brother that you fucked me_ " without completely embarrassing yourself, but your dirty little secret felt safe with him.

you didn't know exactly how you'd make it up to him, you'd have to figure out some way that was feasible for a broke college student such as yourself. although, he was making it incredibly difficult to chart this incident off as a one and done sort of endeavor when you exited the bathroom just to find your clothes, cleaned and freshly dried, neatly folded on the bed, and the ibuprofen you'd requested with a glass of water waiting for you on the adjacent nightstand. zeke was being nice—a little too nice—but you couldn't help but feel your heart skip at his apparent concern. perhaps it was because you'd been emotionally neglected for a while, or maybe it was because zeke was an impossibly attractive older man who you wouldn't think would ever give you the time of day, or maybe a combination of both.

whatever it was, you allowed that stupid, giddy smile to stay on your lips as you tugged on your clothes, gulping down the two pills, mouth uncomfortably dry until you'd finished off the entire glass in one go. you chatted with him over your plate of eggs, noting that he'd changed out his sweatpants for a much smarter pair of dark trousers, white button up ironed and pristine, brown corduroy coat in one hand and mug of coffee in the other. you quickly finished up, noting the way he kept checking the expensive looking silver watch that fit perfectly over his wrist, accentuating the fine contour of his large hands.

you couldn't say that you were thrilled by the butterflies still fluttering about in your stomach, not at all made any better when he'd once again made an attentive offer to you. "it's kinda chilly out, the jacket you brought isn't really all that suited for the weather today.. wanna borrow one of mine?"

and so you left that morning wrapped up in a leather bomber jacket that was a size or two too big, having to stop yourself from breathing in the wonderful scent of his cologne still lingering on the collar as he walked you out of his apartment, so distracted that you hadn't even bothered to check if you had all your belongings in your purse until something reminded you of your desire to message your roommate.

you'd been driving past one of the shopping plazas you frequented when you had enough time—and money—to spare, catching sight of the many drive-thru restaurants open and quickly thinking of sasha. you owed her a bit of an apology for ditching out on her last night, especially after you'd assured her you would be back in time to watch the new episode of her favorite show when it premiered, but when you'd dug your hand into your purse to reach for your phone, you came up empty.

"fuck." you muttered to yourself, turning into one of her favorite restaurants anyways to get her something.

you didn't exactly have any phone numbers memorized aside from your mother's, you didn't really think anybody did these days, and it wasn't like you could go back and wait the entire day for him to get home. so you settled on roughing it until then, hoping that it'd just fallen out onto the floor of his apartment rather than in the parking lot of his complex where it could be stepped on, run over, stolen—any myriad of things that would assure your phone-less-ness for an irritatingly long time.

by the time you made it back to campus and up to your dorm, sasha was already awake enough to immediately pounce you at the site of the paper bag in your hand, nearly crying with gratitude as she unwrapped her double-patty burger, with extra cheese, as you'd remembered her emphasizing the first time you'd watched her place her order, and two large fries on the side.

"an' yuu ev'n rem'ber'd muh ord'r!!" she spoke around large bites, practically halfway done with it before she properly swallowed. you'd never met a girl who could eat like sasha could eat.

"it was the least i could do after completely ditching out last night." you said as you settled down on your bed with a sigh, shedding zeke's jacket.

"don't sweat it, i invited meeks over so i wasn't completely alone." she assured, then froze, glancing nervously at you like she expected you to be angry.

you weren't entirely thrilled with the fact that your roommate happened to become great friends with mikasa, but it wasn't your place to tell her to stop hanging out with her for the sake of some stupid rivalry over the boy. although, the situation had changed. she'd technically "won" at the end of the day, if she considered such foul play as a win, so you guessed that there really wasn't anymore reasons for tense silences and unnecessarily aggressive glares to be exchanged any longer.

"i'm glad you had fun last night," your smile seemed to ease sasha as she bit into a handful of fries, "even if i couldn't make it."

"so what happened? you went over to talk with one of eren's other friends right?"

you'd told sasha you'd been going over to see someone who knew eren, not exactly bringing in the detail that the said individual was his brother, but it was technically true. the blurry memory of last night flashed through your head, his lazy grins, full lips kissing and nipping over your skin, fingers and cock spreading you open so perfectly for him—

"i-it was nothing..! just got kind of carried away drinking, and he was nice enough to let me crash on the couch for the night."

oh, he let you do something on his couch alright. you hoped your face wasn't incriminating you as her gaze flickered down to the jacket.

"let you borrow his jacket too?" you nodded a bit too quickly, earning a crooked, teasing smile from the girl. "anyways.. what's the consensus? figure out anything new?"

 _that his best friend you hung out with last night and him cheated on me._ "just talked about basic stuff, nothing's really set in stone yet, still mulling it over."

she nodded, already done with her burger and working through the first carton of fries. "did you have your phone on silent? i was worried you got kidnapped or something."

you chuckled through your nose, wandering over to your dresser as you began to unbutton your blouse, jerking to a pause when you remembered the very damning evidence of your own infidelity last night. "don't laugh, ok? i had my phone on silent, we ate dinner and drank, then i passed out, and i guess it fell out of my purse or something, because it wasn't in there when i went to text you if you wanted anything to eat."

"and you still got me something.. you're an _angel_." you rolled your eyes at sasha's wide, adoring gaze, laughing at the fact that the food took priority over your missing phone, "do you remember the guy's number..?" she wracked her brain for a moment before smacking around her mattress, tapping into her phone, "oh! i got it! he's one of eren's friends, right? if that's the case, mikasa'll have his number for sure."

you felt your back stiffen up, biting at the inside of your lip as you floundered for an excuse. "o-oh no, i wouldn't wanna bother her.. you know we're not on great terms, what happens if she asks why you need his number?" sasha's disgruntled frown encouraged you. "if she hears that you're only getting it for me, she probably won't give it to you."

"come on, she's not _that_ bad." you shot her a look as you pulled a set of clean clothes out of your dresser drawers, opting to change in the closet, "alright fine... maybe she is that bad sometimes. but it's not like you killed her dog or something, and plus you're, like, her best friend's girlfriend-"

"for now." you interrupted, shutting the door and putting a barrier between you and your roommate's prying eyes, "and we barely even act like a couple anymore."

" _for now_." sasha repeated mockingly, mouth obviously full of fries, "but anyways, i'm sure she'll do this teeny favor for you—especially if i'm asking—so c'mon, give me a name!"

you tugged the long-sleeved sweatshirt over your head, checking yourself on the mirror hanging onto the back of the door to make sure you were entirely covered. "no, sasha. she already doesn't like me enough as it is, no need for us to interact and antagonize each other even more."

you walked out after pulling on your pair of athletic shorts, loose and comfortable around your slightly sore legs, laughing softly when she stuck her tongue out at you. "fine. be like that. keep secrets from your best friend in the whole wide world."

" _ha-ha_." you enunciated wryly, sitting back down onto your mattress and pulling your laptop from beneath your pillow. clicking through your itinerary for the coming weeks, you internally groaned. ironic how being a psych major could make you need a psychologist yourself.

\--

your password had been woefully easy to guess.

he'd tried the classic 1-2-3-4, almost thankful when the text at the top of the screen prompted him to enter a different combination, but a slight disappointment came when he tried your birthday and the phone opened without a problem. he'd at least expected to get locked out for a minute or two, but there he was, scrolling with free reign through your inordinate amount of apps at his seat.

he had plenty of time to laze around, seeing as the library didn't have many patrons at the moment, plus the elevated desk concealed the fact that he wasn't truly doing anything from the average passer-by. the sense of power he felt almost made him smile. these days, everybody had everything on their phones, and it made him wonder what secrets you could be hiding in this little device of yours. it was a few generations behind, not that he expected the latest and greatest from a college freshman, but still mostly intact with a obviously aged case, a few dents here, a scratch in the metal there, small cracks webbing from the corners of the screen protector, but all and all it functioned perfectly fine.

he was tempted to snoop further—maybe scroll through your contacts list to see if you had any mutuals he didn't know about, check to see if you actually cleared your browser history or just left out all your dirty laundry for anyone who tapped into your search engine to find—but he maintained some semblance of self-control, opening up your messages app and checking to see what his brother had said.

> **eren <3 10:53 am**  
> hey  
> babe  
> where are you right now
> 
> **you missed a call from eren <3 (2)**
> 
> **eren <3 10:57 am**  
> i know we haven't gotten a chance to talk lately  
> but please pick up
> 
> **you missed a call from eren <3**
> 
> **eren <3 10:58 am**  
> youre making me nervous  
> pick up
> 
> **you missed a call from eren <3 (3)**

zeke couldn't help but chuckle at his younger brother's emotional incompetence. your last message had been days ago, and from scrolling back in the texts he could see how you were attempting to initiate a majority of the conversation, and the sparse replies here and there from eren were nothing short of pathetically uninterested.

zeke pitied you—the desperate, doting, undeniably adorable college girl who wanted nothing more than to make eren happy—his brother didn't deserve such devotion. even if he wasn't truly sure if eren had really cheated on you, what he was sure about was the fact that this relationship was entirely weighed against your favor.

> **eren <3 11:03 am**  
> fuck  
> i know i fucked up but i didntnfucking deserve that  
> please tell me that wasnt you  
> fuck please fuckign pick up  
> i love you
> 
> **you missed a call from eren <3 (4)**
> 
> **eren <3 11:08 am**  
> did you seriously fucking shut your phone off  
> what the fcuk
> 
> **eren <3 11:10 am**  
> you know what  
> me and armin are coming back next week  
> we'll talk then.

that's right, he'd gone out of the country with that scrawny little blonde kid that always flinched when zeke intruded on eren's hangouts, probably on his dad's dime too. zeke scoffed to himself, shaking his head as he tapped through your text conversation, quickly finding the " _delete messages?_ " prompt and selecting all evidence of eren's one-sided correspondence, tapping the bright red " _delete all_ " button at the bottom of the screen, and finally blocking his number just for good measure. all your old chats were still there, and he was sure that you'd gotten used to eren not messaging anyways, meaning he wouldn't have to worry about him reaching out to you for the time being.

slipping your phone back into his pocket with a sigh, he could feel that warm, smug feeling bubbling up in his chest. he knew he was only postponing the inevitable, that you'd find out the whole, horrible truth eventually, but it was almost fun to dance around the consequences like he was doing so right now. you were fun to play with, unassuming and prim one moment and brazenly shameless the next. there were layers to you, hidden bits that he was sure that he could coax you into revealing to him, slowly but surely bare your raw, unconcealed essence.

his thoughts were interrupted by someone at the counter, a girl who looked about your age with a shirt that was far too low for the way she was leaning toward him, pushing forward her library card with a single dainty finger and setting down a small stack of books. and somehow, he was thinking about you again as he flashed a charming smile that had convinced many other women before into getting a library card of their own.

that was the difference between you and everyone else, you didn't throw yourself at him, you didn't so blatantly vie for his attention, but instead silently appealed for it with your shy glances, small shifts in your posture when he drew near, and all those pretty little sounds that he could earn with a few gentle touches in just the right place. he could feel himself stirring in his pants just thinking about last night, glad that he'd made such a good first impression on you as he swiped the girl's card and scanned her books under the sensor next to the computer.

"all set for the next two weeks." he offered a small grin, passing back her things.

"thank you," she paused, making a show of dragging her eyes down from his face to the name tag pinned over his bicep, " _zeke_. i'll see you then."

she bit her lip as she stepped away from the counter, sauntering away towards the door with an obvious excitement. easier girls always held a place in zeke's heart, but there was nothing like the thrill of the chase that he found in you.

he heard the quiet swoosh of the automatic doors sliding open, glancing over absentmindedly to check out the newest patron. but he felt himself perk up in his seat at the sight of you, large canvas book bag hanging off your shoulder and, much to zeke's delight, still wearing his jacket. it took you a moment to notice him, but the change in your features enthralled him nonetheless, going from bored and almost tired-looking to surprised, then flustered as you froze, wide eyes trained on him. he chuckled to himself, nodding his head at you, almost beckoning you to come, and the self-satisfied smirk that drew across his lips was impossible to contain when you actually began your quick advance up to the counter.

"z-zeke, hi. i didn't know you worked here.."

"and i didn't know you came here." he rolled his chair closer, "i thought i would've seen you around by now."

"i usually go to the library on campus, but," the way you peered around, almost looking nervous to gaze directly at him, was strangely endearing to zeke, "i was just kinda looking for a change of scenery."

"fair enough." he said, remembering the weight of your phone in his pocket, "oh yeah, i'm glad you're here. my roommate called me earlier, said he found your phone on the floor back at the apartment."

you leaned forward at the mention of your phone—the complete lie he'd come up with just now—lips parted in surprise. it looked a lot like the expression he'd envisioned when he had his arms around you last night, pressing teasing kisses over your warm skin, but zeke held off on that thought for the moment.

"ah, i almost forgot about that..! well i'm glad it was that rather than it getting stolen or something.."

he checked his watch, very cognizant of your expectant gaze falling onto him the second he took his eyes off you. "i get off for lunch in about half an hour, if it's not too much trouble we can swing by my place, then i can bring you back here, maybe get you some lunch?"

you flushed brilliantly at that, barely containing your almost giddy smile as you nodded. "yeah thanks, that'd be really great actually! but you don't have to worry about getting me lunch.. i already owe you for dinner last night."

 _just dinner?_ , he thought, internally smirking, but he kept it to himself. "don't worry your pretty little head about it," your flustered reactions were addictive, "just go have a seat over in the working area and i'll come find you after i clock out."

you nodded, offering another small "thank you" before you obediently turned to traverse the scattered expanse of tables on the library floor and find yourself a spot to sit. the next thirty minutes felt unnecessarily long for zeke. he'd answered a few phone calls, worked through recording the stack of books he'd recovered from the "returned" box when he clocked in for his shift, but ended up giving into the temptation of shelving them himself instead of handing them off to the page to sneak a glance at you.

you'd settled at a long table nestled between the large shelves, entirely alone aside from another college student that zeke recognized from the frequency of his visits, but the modest amount of seats separating you let him know that you were strangers. you didn't seem to notice him when he drifted by, headphones in, entirely focused on your open laptop in front of you, jacket now zipped up halfway. he'd forgotten how cold the library was, mostly used to it after having worked there for nearly a year, not lingering in the aisle for too long before he finished up putting away the last of the books remaining in his arms and returning to the front.

"willy, i'm clocking out for lunch, can you watch the desk?" he called out when he caught the man emerging from the back.

"yeah, yeah, i've got you. but actually come back on time, alright?" he said, tying up his long blonde hair into a messy ponytail, "magath got on my ass last time i covered for you when you were late."

"can i make it up to you with some coffee?" zeke offered, grinning when his coworker grunted affirmatively, "text me your order, i'll get it to you on my way back."

and with that, he logged out of his account on the work desktop and left the chair for willy to sit in, wandering back out onto the floor to circle back around to where you were sitting.

he alerted you of his presence with a hand on your shoulder, smiling down at you. "ready to go?"

you nodded, quickly packing your things away into your bag and following him out of the library doors to his car. he opened the passenger door for you just to see that cute smile that always seem to draw across your lips when he did something you liked, slipping into the drivers' seat and syncing his phone to the car before he pulled out of the parking lot.

"the smiths, huh?" you mused from beside him as " _heaven knows i'm miserable now_ " played across the radio's screen.

"you still listen to them?" he asked, remembering when he'd seen you in his parents' kitchen in their merchandise.

"sometimes." you replied, fiddling with the hem of your skirt.

"a little cold to be wearing a skirt, don't you think?"

"what? it's cute, isn't it?" you protested, prompting him to reach over the console with one hand to give the exposed skin of your thigh a few affectionate pats as he laughed softly.

"it _is_ cute."

you fell quiet after that, obviously pleased with his attention but clamming up with that endearing introversion once again. he was content with watching you nod along to his playlist, smiling to yourself when something you recognized came up in the queue. the ride to his complex was short, and the walk up the staircase was silent, but he could feel your eyes lingering over him as you followed behind him, just as they had flickered over to glance at him when you thought he was focused on the road ahead. something about those tiny looks, shy smiles, the face of someone sheepish yet eager to please, it set zeke on fire.

he knew that he shouldn't be bringing you back to the apartment again, but he also knew that he had just about an hour to kill, and reiner was occupied with his own job and away once again, and you really did look great in that skirt and his jacket—

"give me a sec, i'm pretty sure my roommate put it in his room," zeke said, nodding over to the short hall across from the kitchen, knowing he couldn't just pull your phone out of your pocket right here and give it to you, "feel free to check the fridge if you're thirsty or something."

you gave an affirmative hum, wandering toward the kitchen as he turned to enter reiner's room. he was sure that his friend would throw a fit if he figured out he was in his room without his permission, seeing as he was such a stickler for personal privacy, but he wouldn't have to know, zeke was good a keeping secrets. or at least that's what he liked to tell himself, that he was good at lying and sneaking around and pretending like he wasn't bothered by things that made his blood boil, eren being a prime example of such a thing. nineteen years, and somehow in all that time he'd never matured past the age of twelve.

zeke rolled his eyes at the thought, pulling your phone out and wiping away his finger prints on the front of his shirt. the notifications from your assumed roommate were still on the lock screen, joined by a few more miscellaneous ones from earlier in the day, looking entirely untouched for the hours that it had been out of your possession. that lack of accountability he held for essentially stealing your phone eased him a bit as he ventured back out into the main space.

but he couldn't help the burning desire he felt for you when he saw you seated on the island in the kitchen, open water bottle in your hand, peering at him excitedly in expectance of your phone, jacket now hanging off of you from the warmth of the apartment. you didn't shy away like he thought you might as he approached, simply screwing the cap back on the bottle and straightened up your posture, hand outstretched with a smile on your face.

"here you are." he said, sliding your phone into your hand, legs nearly bumping yours from how close he was.

"thank you." you murmured in reply, turning it on for a quick check of your notifications just for your eyes to gravitate right back over to him.

there was something intoxicating about the way you gazed at him, with a meek yet faintly awe-struck look that always seemed to stroke his ego in just the right place. he usually liked confident women, who were well-aware of their beauty and prowess, but there was something about the way you hid yourself away, only showing what you felt necessary but still caving when he peeled away the layers concealing yourself one by one. you weren't desperate initially, not exactly standoffish either, just the perfect balance of reserved and alluring to draw him along after you. especially how you didn't seem to shy away from a challenge such as himself, despite how easy you were to fluster.

he checked his watch before he spoke, his voice low and full of intention. "we've still got about forty minutes before i have to get back." you licked your lips, eyebrows cinching upward just the slightest bit, head unconsciously tilting upwards towards his. though the height of the counter closed an inch or two of distance between the two of you, he still stood taller than you, pressing forward the smallest bit, able to feel your soft breaths fanning over his cheek. "so, what do you say..?"

you didn't speak, only giving a small nod, and that was all it took for zeke to close the space that was barely there between you, lips melding easily over your own. you let out a small sound of surprise, sending a jolt of heat straight through him, determined to make it happen again. your hands grasped at the front of his shirt, clenching at the fabric when his own rose to grip your thighs, spreading them to accommodate his presence and urge himself even closer to you. the feeling of your bare skin, pliant flesh that his fingers sunk so easily into, the knowledge that the only thing keeping him from you was your underwear under your skirt, was enough to make him even more impatient than he already was.

"didn't get enough last night, huh?" he breathed into your ear after he'd pulled away, grinning at the sight of your shaking head and your whispered "n-no".

he maintained enough control to not mark the skin exposed by your shirt when he reached it, but still nipped with enough pressure to pull more little moans that made his cock ache in the constraints of his pants. you didn't protest when the hands on your thighs slid further inward, gasping softly when he let a finger slowly stroke over your clothed cunt.

"and i've barely even touched you.. naughty girl." the way you bristled at his shameless words was endlessly enthralling to him, "already so needy for me..."

you squirmed as he palmed you through your underwear, attempting to speak, but your words always stammered off into an incoherent whimper, hips already rutting up as subtly as they could manage into his hand. "p-please, zeke. i w-want.."

"what do you want?" he pulled away from your neck, hazy, low-lidded eyes gazing directly into your own, "want my fingers in that little pussy of yours?"

you flushed brilliantly at his crassness, but nodded all the same, following up with a whimpered " _yes, please..!_ "

you were begging with your mouth and eyes and he'd only just started, the fact that you were so eager from just the slightest touches made him impossibly hard. he lowered himself to his knees as quickly as he could, letting your heels rest on his shoulders to push yourself up off the counter long enough for him to peel your underwear off of you, sucking air between your teeth when you lowered your bare skin back down onto the cool granite.

he loved how compliant you were, how you let him adjust your position as he pleased, balancing yourself on one hand after he'd settled you on the edge of the island. he made sure to admire the way your face shifted when he ran a finger across your slick skin, thumb drawing across your clit to tease you for just a moment before he slid one finger into you.

" _fuck_.." he muttered to himself, admiring how you just barely arched toward him when he curled it inside you, retracting his hand and pushing in with a second finger.

he was sure that he could watch you all day, spread out on the kitchen counter, bottom lip reddening from being bitten so firmly between your teeth, eyes glassy and completely fogged over with lust. but he knew that he only had this single hour, regretting offering willy his promise of apology coffee, but deciding to take care of what he'd started and still having time to spare.

plucking his glasses from his nose, he set them on the counter beside your phone, pressing a lingering kiss over one of the thighs beside his head as a silent way to let you know his intentions, pleased to see nothing but anticipation etched across your flushed features as he proceeded. his first lick was intentionally slow, savoring the full body tremble you gave and the flavor of you on his tongue, grasp on your flank fastening to hold you apart while he continued.

he groaned at the hand that shakily clenched in his hair, the one clasped over your mouth doing little to contain the whines and baseless pleas spilling from your lips. zeke was certain his neighbors hated him by now, but he could honestly care less about such a menial detail like that when it was you moaning loud enough to be heard all the way down the hall, solely because of him. and a part of him had to wonder if eren had ever been able to satisfy you the way he had last night—the way he was now—if he'd ever gotten to fully explore and appreciate all the little things you had to offer. his younger brother was juvenile at best in his eyes, and, as far as he knew, entirely inexperienced until he began dating you. but zeke didn't mind showing up the kid, especially not when you deserved to feel as good as he made you feel. after all, he still had just about a week until ramifications were entirely inescapable, he could keep having fun with you for those couple days at the very least.

he pushed the more complicated thoughts from the forefront of his mind, choosing instead to focus on you in front of him, eyes low-lidded and unfocused, now biting onto one of your knuckles, hips rolling into his mouth and fingers in an obvious chase for your release. he rolled his tongue across your clit in quick, ruthless strokes, grinning against you when you whined, eyes rolling back into your head as it felt back toward the ceiling, your hold in his hair almost painfully tight. he could feel the tell-tale stiffen of your muscles, curling his fingers to rub at that part that seemed to drive you wild, catching the stammered end of his name on your lips as you came.

even from his place on the ground, he could see how your chest heaved, legs still quivering, wearing an almost dazed expression until you'd blinked away the fogginess in your eyes. your sheepishness returned when you watched him lick his lips, still slick with your arousal, whimpering softly at the departure of his fingers. he adjusted himself in his pants before stepped away, allowing you to recollect yourself while he proceeded over to the kitchen sink, washing his hands and patting away the remaining stickiness from his chin with the paper towel he used to dry them, watching with a close-lipped grin as you slowly lowered yourself back onto the ground and pulled up your underwear.

he checked his watch after he'd situated his glasses onto his face, frowning. only the better part of twenty minutes left in his break. "ready to get going?" he asked, running a hand through his hair to smooth it back down, his casual tone seeming to ease you.

"mhm." you replied, straightening out your clothes and beginning to shrug his jacket back onto your shoulders before you glanced over at him, "do you want this back? i didn't mean to steal it from you.."

"keep it." he said, plucking his keys from his pocket and proceeding towards the door, "it looks good on you." he didn't even have to look back at you to know that you were smiling.

the car ride was once again mostly silent, seeing as you were tapping through your phone and looking at everything you'd missed in the time you were away from it. but when he'd pulled into the starbuck drive-thru to get willy his unnecessary complicated order and turned to ask if you wanted anything, he caught you looking at your text conversation with eren before you shut your phone off and asked for a chai latte and a butter croissant, and he felt an odd twinge in his chest as he delivered your request and his own of an unsweetened cold brew to the speaker beside his rolled down window.

was it irritation? jealousy? possessiveness? for the first time in a while, he was unsure of how he felt. it was a bit unnerving, but also fascinating all at once. he could've never expected this sort of outcome from the situation, but it wasn't entirely unwelcoming. now that he thought about it, his life had been a bit dull lately, a cyclical routine of attending his job, going out for drinks on tuesday, the occasional sexual conquest here and there with women he met but never remembered, but your call had been a break in the routine, an expected opportunity that he was determined to not let slip through his fingers. and while he would've probably just been satisfied with allowing your name to join all the others in the blurry recesses of his memory at first, he knew now that there was much more for him to discover.

so he let you finish up the lunch he'd gotten you, turning up the radio and escorting you back to the library, feeling far too satisfied with himself as he watched you disappear between the shelves, proceeding back behind the desk and setting willy's coffee down beside him. "don't get up yet, i have to piss."

he groaned frustratedly at that. "why didn't you fucking do that on your break, you ass."

"i got your coffee in the drive-thru." zeke replied absentmindedly, already stalking off to the staff bathroom in the back with the thought of you on the counter playing over and over in his head.

only after locking the door and settling on the toilet did he finally let out a heavy sigh, tapping into his camera roll and quickly finding his picture of you from this morning. just the sight of your half-exposed body made his pants feel tight once again, and he regretted not taking more photos when he had the chance, but this would be enough for now, especially with the memory of you begging for him not even an hour ago fresh on his mind.

he didn't feel any sort of shame as he unzipped his pants and pulled himself out of his boxers, the tip of his cock already slick with pre, ready for the release he'd denied himself for the sake of time—and your satisfaction, of course—the release he'd be granting himself right now, with you just a couple meters away, entirely unaware that it was all because of you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahahah sorry,, no big reveal just yet, but i threw in some gratuitous smut, so hopefully that makes up for it a little (b ᵔ▽ᵔ)b also yes i made zeke listen to male manipulator music LOL, i thought it suited his character here ( ¯ ▿ ¯ )


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp. here's another chapter ! i apologize for always making it out like i won't post for another week or two and then popping up w something new in like,,, a couple days. kind of a bad habit of mine, but all of u guys' comments make me so motivated. also,, i know next to nothing abt fraternities or greek life, so there may have been some creative liberties taken (‘～` ) but, nonetheless, i hope u enjoy !!

> **sasha 3:47 pm**  
>  hey  
> u down to party tonight??  
> jean told connie he could get us into another one of the azo parties again

you sighed at the sight of the notifications on your phone from its place on the passenger's seat, pensively drumming your fingers on your steering wheel. the most recent party of the most popular fraternity chapter on your campus you'd attended had been the last party you'd subjected yourself to attending—the halloween party where you'd gotten ditched out and subsequently cheated on. though you could admit that it had been fun in the moment, especially when you had caught the struggle between sasha and historia when she saw your roommate snap a picture of her kissing the standoffish sophomore that always helped her with her english lit homework, ymir, rather than the fraternity guy she was meant to be with.

the memory of that night, at least the time before you'd realized your boyfriend and his annoyingly attractive best friend were nowhere to be found, made you consider. classes did start back up next week, and the most eventful thing you'd done over the break was your quaint little family get-together for new year's eve—and your two rendezvous with zeke, meetings that you were slowly beginning to feel more and more skeptical about as time went on—and you were sure that your second semester would drown you in work just as much—if not more—than you'd had in your first semester. so as soon as you came to a stop at a red light, you picked your phone up to shoot her back a message, laughing to yourself when she replied instantly.

> **you 3:51 pm**  
>  party on a wednesday?  
>  really?
> 
> **sasha 3:51 pm**  
>  come onnnn  
> please???  
> i heard nikos gonna be there! ur rlly gonna make me go all alone??

so that was why she wanted to go, to see the foreign culinary major that somehow always managed to send her back to the dorm with a large plate of food and a blinding smile plastered on her face for at least the next hour. you were honestly surprised that they hadn't gotten together yet, considering how many common interests they'd shared.

a pleasant thought suddenly popped into your head, the thought that she was probably asking you because mikasa had already declined, meaning that she wouldn't be in attendance. armin was out in turkey with eren, ensuring his absence. that fact made you feel a bit less anxious about accepting sasha's invitation. you could catch up with the friends you'd been unable to see while you were off-campus—or too swamped with work to be able to reach out to—let loose one last time before you were trapped back in the monotonous cycle of working, sleeping, crying, and eating for the next couple months until spring break. your mind had been made up.

> **you 3:52 pm**  
>  fine. i'll go as moral support.  
> but no promises u won't have  
> to babysit after you've had ur  
>  fun with nikolo  
> this break has been rough for  
>  me lol
> 
> **sasha 3:53 pm**  
>  oh god my i loveyou so much  
> already picking out our outfits

you chuckled to yourself, slipping your phone into the cupholder as the brake lights of the car in front of you flashed off and you eased your foot onto the gas. you made it back to the dorm relatively quickly, sasha more than elated to see you even though you didn't have any food to bring back for her. and just as her text message had read, she'd already laid out one of your nicer dresses and a set of heels that didn't absolutely kill your feet by the end of the night by your bed, digging through the closet with a pile of discarded clothes growing on the floor.

"thanks sash," you giggled, "but don't you think it's a little to be getting ready? what time's the party?"

"connie told me seven-thirty, but jean said for us to come an hour later so we aren't the only ones there." she spoke over her shoulder, huffing as she tossed another piece of clothing aside, "but i wanna look good! i'm gonna hop in the shower as soon as i find the right thing to wear."

holding out your dress before you, you frowned. it was simple, black and made of a sheer, clingy material with lace accents decorating the low neckline, thin straps that bared the entirety of your shoulders and a modest amount of cleavage. it was one of your favorites, but the half-healed bruises scattered across the skin that would be exposed by it wasn't ideal.

"oh, don't forget to take a cheap coat that you don't mind forgetting. it's kinda chilly out, and i always end up losing track of mine during the night."

you let out a breath of relief, remembering that covering up a bit more would be weather appropriate. "yeah, i'll wear a long-sleeved undershirt and something light on top." perfect.

you waited until sasha had gathered her toiletries and scurried off to the nearest bathroom to change clothes, feeling your face heat up at the thought of zeke, the initial deep pigmentation having faded out over the last two days but still a very visible shade of faint red. you were fully dressed upon your roommate's return, earning an excited slew of compliments from her as she wrapped up her hair in a towel and settled down beside you to get started on her makeup.

you were actually grateful for how early she'd insisted on getting ready considering how long she'd agonized over her eyeliner, or how many times she'd applied and removed her lashes, complaining that "something was off" or "it just didn't look right". your suggested time of arrival came in no time at all, and by then sasha was more than eager to start rushing you despite the pace she'd been moving at earlier.

"hurry!! if niko brings food, i don't wanna get there by the time it's all gone!" she whined, jiggling the doorknob to your room impatiently, "for the thanksgiving party, he brought a charcuterie board with all these nice cheeses on it and it was so good, he looked so happy watching me eat it, _it was so cute!_ "

you chuckled softly at her enthusiasm, shoving the last of your things into your clutch, zipping up your phone in the small inner pocket to insure that you didn't drop it and forget on the floor of someone's house this time. "i'm sure that even if we got there late, he'd set aside plenty of food for you."

the walk to the fraternity's designated house was made much shorter by sasha's insistence, practically dragging you along by the wrist the whole way at a near jog. you couldn't deny that you were feeling a bit nervous about the whole ordeal, knowing that you would have sasha, connie, and jean at the very least, but unaware as to what you would really do besides mill around. at the halloween party, you'd been able to play the variety of drinking games that had been set out for the guests with eren and his friends, but now you weren't entirely sure who to stick to for the majority of the night.

you didn't want to bother jean or connie after they'd gotten secured you an invite, and you were sure that sasha was expecting to be able to spend some time alone with the guy she'd came to see in the first place, meaning you'd have to spend a majority of the night alone, or the unfavorable option of mingling with unfamiliar people. but you realized that was a pill you'd have to swallow as you approached the steps of the house, nearly tripping up over your feet from the speed that sasha was hauling you along at, watching her furiously knock at the door.

there were people wandering about in the yard, some on their phones, most likely waiting for their own friends to arrive, and a smoky stench of something that definitely wasn't just tobacco wafting from the group of men camped out on the porch murmuring amongst each other. you could hear the volume of the music inside the house, almost able to feel it thrumming across the floor if you focused enough.

"thomas!" she exclaimed at the sight of a younger-looking blonde boy when the door opened, whose existence you honestly had no idea about until just now, grinning so broadly it made your own cheeks hurt for her, "jean invited us!"

"oh, come right in." he beamed right back, calling loudly over his shoulder, "yo, jean, your friends are here!"

the inside of the house looked just as you expected, already crowded to max capacity, jean having to maneuver past the throng of people gathered near the front to approach the two of you. "damn, i feel like i haven't seen you in forever." he did his best to speak over the music, wrapping you up in a friendly squeeze, "glad to see you could finally make it." he turned to sasha. "niko's already in the kitchen, by the way. asked when you were coming just a few minutes ago."

sasha's face lit up with glee, turning to you, silently asking for permission to go off on her own as if you could ever deny her and her overly-eager expression. "go get 'em, tiger." you smiled, giving her a few pats on her shoulder to send her off on her way, watching her disappear into the crowd in record time.

but before apprehension of her absence could set in, you felt jean's arm sling around your shoulder, pulling you into his side. "c'mon, you didn't think i was gonna ditch out and let you hang alone all night?" you giggled, turning your head up to look at him properly for the first time.

you'd first met jean in your statistics class, an unfortunate requirement for your major of choice, and initially bonded over your mutual connection through sasha. they'd been good friends in high school, and you'd just moved into a room for at least the next year with her, so you figured it'd do you well to have someone who could get you in her good graces in the event that you two didn't get along. but, thankfully, you two were just fine on your own, and sasha and jean became your first friends outside of the small group you and eren shared.

the only real conflict of interest between the two of you seemed to be your aforementioned boyfriend, and you couldn't really be upset at him for that. eren could be difficult to get along with even at the best of times, he wasn't a terrible person—at least before he'd cheated—but he wasn't exactly the most friendly either.

"is this piercing new?" you asked, reaching up to brush your thumb over the small earring hugging the shell of jean's ear.

"yeah, got it for new year's. pretty hot, right?" you snorted, earning a grin from him, "by the way, if you need to use the bathroom just tell me, the one on the main floor is fucking filthy. and also probably has no toilet paper."

"will do." you could feel the tension ebbing away in his company, at least when you ignored the annoyed glances other girls were sending your way when they noticed his arm around you, "so, what's on the menu for tonight?"

"well, we probably have every kind of alcohol known to man," he said, leaning down to speak into your ear as he began to guide you through the crowded first floor, "beer kegs are out back, junk food and all the inexpensive shit is in the kitchen." he stopped at the opening to a hallway, smile evident in his voice. "but i'm feeling pretty generous tonight, so if you want some of the good stuff we have stashed, just say the word."

"wow, such a gentleman. do you say that to every girl that comes in?" you playfully replied, thankfully far enough away from the music now that you didn't have to talk at nearly a shout.

"only the ones i like." he added a terribly over-exaggerated wink, earning another small laugh from you, "so, what'll it be? vodka, tequila, or triple sec?"

you blinked up at him. "that's it? when you said 'good stuff', i imagined a little more variety."

"beggars can't be choosers, sweetheart. and anyways we're a frat, not a restaurant, so either take your pick or go enjoy some cheap wine while you watch nikolo and sasha drool over each other."

you rolled your eyes, feigning anger in the face of his attitude, huffing out your answer. "surprise me then, frat boy."

"good answer." he said with a grin, "wait here."

he disappeared down the hall, leaving you to stare in silence at the wall before you and listen to the barely muffled sounds of the party going on just a few meters away. you opened up your clutch to fish out your phone, opening it to find your text conversation still open, catching a glimpse of connie's name. you felt a little guilty that you'd almost forgotten about his expected presence, seeing as he had messaged you and you hadn't heard anything from sasha or jean yet. you decided to shoot him a quick text letting him know that you and sasha had arrived, not surprised when he didn't respond as quickly as he usually did, knowing that he was already wrapped up in getting high out of his mind somewhere here or doing so elsewhere.

you opted to kill time tapping through your feed, making it a point to quickly scroll past any posts with armin's handle attached to them. the thought of eren having fun halfway across the world was both pleasant and disheartening at the same time. you felt stupid for still clinging on to the second thoughts about ending things the second he got back. sure, all the dots connected suspiciously well to create a picture that led to the clear conclusion of cheating, but eren wasn't good at hiding things. you remembered the time in your junior year when he'd barely been able to keep your surprise party that your friends had organized you a secret before one of them slipped up about it and exonerated him from blame, and you couldn't help but ask yourself if he was really capable of hiding such a terrible deed when he couldn't even conceal the harmless types of secrets from you.

the more confrontational part of you said that that was ages ago, that both you and him had changed so much since your time in high school, and maybe one of those changes was what made him put so much distance between the two of you these last months rather than hang around you and risk airing out his dirty laundry. you knew you should be angry with him, you would be more than right to be angry with him, but you force yourself to stop clinging to the simpler times, the days when he'd look at you like you'd put the stars in the sky and said all he ever wanted to do was be around you. you couldn't believe how much had changed in so little time.

"ta-da!" jean's voice interrupted your self-pity, a tall plastic cup suddenly occupying your vision, "long island iced tea for the lady. with a straw."

"christ, jean, are you trying to kill me?" you guffawed, taking the cup from him anyways, "my first real party in months and this is what you start me off with?"

"at least give it a try! after i took all that time to make it for you.." he furrowed his brows at you, only relaxing after you took a tentative sip. it was surprisingly not as strong as you thought it would be, a little on the sweeter side, but it served as a good distraction for the burn of five different alcohols sliding down your throat. "pretty good, isn't it?"

"meh. five out of ten." you snarked, giggling around the straw between your lips.

"typical," he lamented, clutching his hands over his heart, "all you and sasha ever do is use me."

"don't lie to yourself, jean. you love us."

you didn't know if it was the dim lighting casting a shadow over his face, but you could swear that you saw his cheeks flush at your assertion. "anyways.. speaking of love, you still dating that asshole? eric?"

" _eren_." you corrected, laughing at the error, "and, well, it's complicated."

"complicated? then i'm assuming he fucked up big time, considering he's not even here with you this time around."

you took a long sip of your drink, fiddling with the bendy part of your straw, the thought of his infidelity weighing heavily on your heart. "well he'd probably be here if he wasn't out of town, he's been planning to take his trip for a while now.."

jean shot you a displeased look. "i seriously don't know how you put up with that guy, you're selling yourself short honestly. planning on breaking up with him anytime soon?"

you cast your gaze to the floor, thankful that the warmth of the alcohol in your stomach was helping to ease the cool hollowness settling deep into your chest. "oh hush. you don't even know the whole story, jean."

"well i know enough. if you're in the market for any new guys, i'll scout out someone nice for you." you scoffed at his offer, but didn't outright deny it either, unable to help smiling along with him when he smirked and nodded over to the party in the other room, "now, come play me in beer pong, then you'll really have something to complain about."

\--

zeke could confidently say that his night had been utterly unremarkable.

another quiet day spent working at the library, where he'd actually glanced at the door more times than he was willing to admit with the hope that it would be you walking in. he'd actually been quite tempted to message you, to ask what you were doing, if you had anywhere between two and three so that maybe he could see you, but he'd ultimately decided against it. he couldn't quite figure out the exact cause of his newly-found infatuation with you, but the rationality of it didn't concern him as much as it probably should've, he was simply pleased to relive the very recent memories of your encounters together and anticipate your next meeting—at least until his younger brother returned.

eren had attempted to goad a reaction out of him with an assortment of unsavory texts calling him just about every name in the book, a constant stream of questions asking why he did it, or what he'd done to deserve such a thing, and even a few desperate pleas begging him to say that it wasn't really you. of course, he'd ignored all of them, and he wondered if eren was trying to contact you as well, knowing that you wouldn't be able to see the messages even if that was the case, though still curious nonetheless.

but for the moment, he was lounging at his usual downtown bar, seated in a booth beside reiner and across from porco at their rescheduled night out, since both marcel and porco were unable to make it yesterday, the latter sulking after his noisy attempt to flag down the waitress ended in failure.

"is marcel actually gonna make it tonight?" reiner asked, plucking a stick of celery from the appetizer platter in the middle of the table.

"no clue." porco replied, sipping his mojito, "said he got caught up at work again, so either the let down text is gonna come any minute now, or he's gonna show up for an hour and then disappear."

zeke chuckled. "post-marriage life sure is tough, i guess."

"you can say that again. he's always calling me, freaking about the idea of kids and his mortgage and stuff that i didn't even think about until he complained about it, scary shit."

"you say that like you're not two years away from being his age."

porco began what was sure to be one of his smart-ass replies, but the waitress had finally approached their booth, hiding her annoyance with his friend with a forced smile as she took the orders for their entrées. zeke pulled his phone from the back pocket of his jeans when he felt it buzz, feeling the slightest hint of disappointment by the fact that it wasn't you.

"who is it? your new girlfriend?" reiner grumbled, smirking when porco shot up in his seat.

"girlfriend?!" he exclaimed far too loudly.

"yup. zeke didn't tell you he's dating a high-schooler?"

 _so much for "your business",_ zeke thought to himself. "oh, fuck off. she's in college." he frowned at his roommate, only met with another tired expression of disappointment.

"just barely." reiner turned back to the man across the table, "it's one of his brother's ex-girlfriends too."

porco stared at him incredulously, eyes wide and judgmental, falling back against the cushion of the seat with a low whistle. "shit zeke.. that's kinda fucked up, don't you think?" he seemed uncomfortable by the unexpected revelation, "you're almost thirty and you're screwing around with someone who's probably not even twenty? is this an afraid-of-getting-old thing? mid-life crisis??"

"she's an adult, she can make her own choices." zeke didn't appreciate the sudden scrutiny, finishing off his old fashioned in the hopes that the bourbon would wash away the self-conscious feeling settling unpleasantly in his gut, "not my fault that her choice happens to be wanting to be around me rather than the guys her age."

"what ever happened to you and pieck? she's hot—"

"and actually over the legal drinking age."

both porco and zeke pointedly ignored reiner's interaction as the former continued. "—i thought it was working out between you two.. what happened?"

zeke shrugged. "just wasn't the right fit for me. but you liked her, didn't you? before we had our thing." he looked up at his friend, forcing a casual grin, "maybe you could give that shot now."

he felt a bit more at ease seeing porco's ears and cheeks flush red, now fiddling with the lime garnish on the rim of his glass. "we still talk here and there.. i don't really know much about what she's up to these days."

before he could answer with more words of encouragement that detracted from the previous, morally-incriminating topic, his phone began to vibrate, and he felt his heart leap into his throat at the sight of your name on the screen. "sorry, gotta take this."

he tugged on his jacket and slid out of the booth, ignoring reiner's chastising glance and porco's bewildered look, passing the waitress who was now carrying a platter with their food and refills on his way out. the cool night breeze was refreshing in comparison to the awkward, almost cramped atmosphere that had developed over their discussion, his breath coming is foggy puffs in the chilled, january air as he pressed the answer button. immediately upon raising the phone to his ear, he was met with a blurred assortment of background noise, able to discern the muffled sound of music and the sound of footsteps outside of whatever room you were in.

"hello?"

" _oh, zeke, you answered!!_ " he could hear in your voice that you were clearly intoxicated, much more than you had been when you were at his house, words stringing together and ending syllables unnecessarily drawn out.

he felt uncharacteristically worried at the realization that you were at a party, one that sounded quite large and crowded, most likely crawling with unsavory individuals that he knew prowled around those sorts of events when he himself was in college. "are you alright? where are you right now? do you need me to pick you up?"

zeke was already digging around in his coat pocket to check if he had his keys, more than prepared to take off without his meal or saying goodbye to his friends inside. " _'m at a party on campus, 's okay. in the bathroom. just thinking._ "

zeke didn't feel eased at all at the sound of loud knocking coming from somewhere, hearing you becoming distant for a moment as you presumably pulled the phone away from your ear to call out that the bathroom was occupied. there was shuffling on the other line, then silence for a short moment. " _can i ask you something?_ "

zeke frowned. the idea of not being able to know who was monitoring you in this state wasn't sitting well with him. "go ahead."

" _but don't call me stupid, ok? i already know it's a stupid question, but i still wanna ask it._ "

"there's no such thing as stupid questions." he assured you, ignoring the buzz of a text notification, most likely porco or reiner telling him to come back in before the burger he ordered got cold.

" _do i really have to break up with eren?_ "

zeke felt something odd flicker in his chest, that unfamiliar feeling he'd felt when he caught you staring at you and his brother's one-sided chat logs, but yet the affirmative answer he thought he would be able to give with no problem sat on the tip of his tongue, undelivered. he thought back to that face reiner had made when he told him who you were, and porco's hesitant words trying to rationalize his actions but ultimately failing to do so.

zeke didn't understand why he felt so conflicted all of a sudden. this was meant to be a simple ordeal, one where he got what he needed to teach eren a lesson and moved on with his life. but now here he was, concerned about your whereabouts, focusing hard enough on your muddled words that he managed to catch the wobble in your voice that betrayed your own state of emotional unrest. he realized a moment too late that he hadn't said anything, hearing a small sniffle on your end before we began speaking.

" _god, i can't believe i said that out loud, you must really think i'm dumb r'now, but.. i just can't let go of what we had._ " he was sure that you were crying now. " _i keep thinking about what you said, an' you're right. he's been an ass to me, he practically ignored me for, like, three months, probably fuckin' cheated on me with his hot best friend, so i can't understand why i just wanna keep trying to fix things... and its so confusing 'cause everyone just keeps telling me to enjoy myself an' have fun, but i have no idea what i even want anymore, and i don't even know what we are right now and i can't fuckin' believe i cheated on my boyfriend with his fuckin' older brother and i don't know what i'd ever do if he found out._ "

by the end of it, you were letting out small, hiccuped sobs, breath fast and uneven just as it had been the night he'd invited you over. he honestly didn't know what to say, listening to you cry, staring at the steam of his breath as it dissipated out into the night. you were a good person, someone who was undeserving of such treatment from either him or eren, but it was simply an unfortunate coincidence that you had been caught in the fray.

he took a deep breath and gathered his thoughts, preparing to deliver an affirmation similar to the one he'd given you a few days ago when you first laid all your relationship troubles out on the table, but there was a rapid, more insistent knocking at the bathroom door on your end. he could hear a female voice calling out your name, and the jiggling of the door knob.

"hold on," you paused, sniffling, "it's my roommate."

you steadied yourself enough to say that, tossing the phone somewhere before he heard the sound of the door unlocking. " _there you are!! are you seriously wasted already? it's only, like, eleven?! why are you crying???_ " your roommate sounded tipsy, but nowhere near as intoxicated as you currently were, which eased zeke's initial worry, " _jean! can you c'mere for a sec! wait, were you calling someone?_ "

there was a brief pause, and zeke could practically see your tiny nod and teary eyes in his head, then heels clicking over tile and the sound of the phone being lifted, followed by a hurried, " _hey, this is her roommate! she's fine, gotta go!_ "

then silence, just him and the faint noise coming from inside the bar behind him. he didn't know what to think. from the sounds of it, it seemed like your friends were taking care of you for the time being, friends who names he vaguely remembered you speaking of when you'd been detailing your time at the halloween party—people that were unfamiliar to him, people he wasn't sure that he could trust. and a small part of him, a tiny voice at the back of his head, scoffed at his flimsy mask of worry that barely hid the true emotion, his possessive nature, driving his desire to go pick you up and bring you back to the apartment to take care of so you'd have to be there with him another morning with your thankful gazes and blunt, half-awake words.

he knew he was in no place to begin laying judgement at these unknown people in your life considering what he'd done, but it was an innate sort of feeling, the thought that always clouded his mind when he laid eyes on people that were younger than him, that he knew more than them, that somehow he would always be above them in an invisible hierarchy. that same feeling that he felt when he found himself looking down at you.

"zeke?" a warm, friendly voice broke him out of his thoughts, his eyes turning up from the ground to find a tired-looking marcel standing before him, "what are you doing out here by yourself?"

"smoke break." the lie slipped between his lips before he even thought of the fact that there was no cigarette between his fingers, no scent of smoke in the air or clinging to his clothes, "glad you could make it, everyone's inside. pretty sure porco already ordered you something."

but instead of immediately heading inside for zeke to come after him, marcel stood for a moment, lips drawing back and eyebrows knitting into a concerned expression. "is everything okay?"

zeke thought for a moment, giving a non-committal shrug in response.

"still having family troubles?"

despite having been quite fixated on his negative feelings revolving his own younger brother for the last few days, zeke had almost pushed out a majority of the sordid details of the entire situation out of his head, which now seemed to all flood back with such a short, simple question.

"you could say that." zeke scratched the back of his neck, now wishing he'd actually had a cigarette to take his mind off of all these turbulent thoughts, "all the arguing and shit subsided already, but..."

"anything from your dad?" marcel's voice was almost tentative asking that, frowning when zeke said nothing, "sorry.. didn't mean to be insensitive about it."

"it's not insensitive. just," he swallowed, tucking his phone back into his pocket and reaching out to push open the bar door, a silent, less embarrassing way to signal that he no longer wanted to talk about it anymore, "just kind of fresh. that's all."

they both stood in silence for a moment, marcel's eyes wandering his face, features expressing a clear concern, but thankfully, he didn't push the issue any further, simply following him inside like zeke wished he would've done minutes earlier to save him the trouble, proceeding to the booth housing their friends. the conversation didn't wander back to the topic of him and his morally dubious relations nor his current familial situation, much to his relief, making it much easier for him to just allow the conversation to flow around him, finding himself not having much of an appetite or desire to speak much with so much on his mind.

for a moment, zeke wondered to himself if this was a punishment from the universe, feeling so downtrodden on what was usually one of his more enjoyable nights in the week. not to say that they were always amazing to be around, but spending time with porco, reiner, marcel, and sometimes bertholdt made up most of the meaningful social interactions he had, and to have lost out on it today of all days just seemed like some odd form of karmic justice as a result of him behaving so selfishly.

but he held out for the rest of the evening anyways, going through more drinks that he probably should've, finding easier to tune in to porco and reiner's usual bickering, marcel's attempts to quell them, the ambient sound of bustling waiters and clinking glasses and plates to bury down any thought of you or his family or what was to come at the end of the week, the consequences with much more magnitude in his life than an just an unpleasant night out.


End file.
